scent and beauty

One of the lovely parts of getting a cold or dealing with allergies . . . is to partially lose ones hearing and/or sense of smell.

I had the novelty to lose my sense of smell COMPLETELY, although, very thankfully, temporarily.

I had changed the filter on my CPAP machine.  I noticed with the first use, that there seemed to be an odd scent.  Since it was a brand new "sterile" filter, I thought it might perhaps just be a cold coming on.

At the same time, I would occasionally think I smelled gas . . .
In only one location in the entire Condo . . .
On the middle of the couch in the living room . . .
Only when the furnace came on.

The closed furnace room smelled fine and I was unable to follow the scent.  Mother and the dogs were of NO help.

The next day I asked Mom's cleaning gal if she smelled it.
"No, well maybe . . . like something burning . . . no . . . it does smell a little like gas."

I called Edison.  He finally traced it to a small pilot line to the gas fireplace.  The furnace air vents on either side caused air flow so I could smell it in that one particular spot.

Good thing, because by the time I called him I NO longer possessed ANY sense of smell.

NONE, ZIP, GONE

All signs pointed to a Major allergic reaction to MOLD.  I immediately removed the offending filter, cleaned the machine to the best of my ability, mean while knowing I will be unable to use it any time soon since I already had probable Mold spores shot up high into my sinuses.

I won't amuse you with the copious and varied secretions and expectorations that followed, but it soon became obvious that the allergies had allowed a virus in too.

Nasal passages clogged, ears popping or refusing to clear, choking on muck, etc.

Hearing often muffled.

Sense of Smell . . . nada.  

Not even a faint hint.

I didn't really notice at first that it was completely gone. 

Breathing seemed such a priority.

But, one day when my nasal passages were clear to breathe, I noticed that I could smell nothing, not Vicks, not the dill pickles in their jar, vinegar, coffee, nothing.

I started to worry.  
My house is all gas . . . 

stove, oven, furnace, hot water . . .

if my dog tangles with a skunk, how will I know?

After a week, I was out running errands, nasal passages clear, I inhaled the cold crisp clean air . . . nope, still can't smell anything.

I returned to my anatomy books and reviewed the location of our smell sensory apparatus.  Very top of the sinuses closest to the brain.  So it means if I can't smell, then I have to unpack ALL that muck before it becomes cemented in.

Netti pot time.  It may be gross-but, DANG IT- it works!  Warm distilled water, (lets not introduce the possibility of new microbes with tap water), and - tah-dah, one day later I can smell and hear AND use my CPAP again.



arm-chair knitting,

I arrived in December 2009 to help my parents.  Once I realized I was staying, I applied for a Michigan Nursing license.  I knew this would take time.

In January 2010 I took a knitting class.

(I had always wanted to learn, and had even started trying to learn on my own.  Time was always a bit of a problem though.)

In March 2010 I started my scarf.

In that time:

1. I knitted scarves for my Mom and my Niece
2. got my Dad through his stroke
3. started full-time at a nursing agency
4. my Brother and family moved here from Louisiana
5. I cared for 4 pediatric patients and their families
6. I visited my home 5 times
7. Dad deteriorated and entered Rehab
8. Dad passed.
9. had the kitchen updated and repaired
10. I returned Home
11. got my old job back
12. Mom started having problems
13. I came back
14. improved accessibility to Condo
15. long distance home improvements done
16. got Mom's weight and ambulation back

January 2013
three years, a row here, two rows there . . .
time and memories in ONE scarf.

done
and

tasseled
(truer color in this pic)

Oh yes, and all the fun stuff . . . fell down a manhole, bad burn/celulitis, wound to shin/celulitis, 3 broken toes . . . most recently this week, twice (again) . . . same chair leg and same toe.  (bad enough hitting and breaking it the first time, but to hit the same toe 4 days later, insult to injury!)

I am still graceless.

into this bag

Mom and I worked together to create 24 Gift Bags--filled with homemade Orange Crinkle Cookies

Ball Mason Jars--frosted leaving a clear star--filled with a homemade
Wassail Mix

and tea lights for when the jar is empty.

They seemed to be very popular.

what remains?

Christmas Leftovers

gingerbread tree . . . no homicidal snowman this time

the large and small of it

Jack, for sizing purposes

it's real.

plastic snowmen--on around the side of the house
no two seem to be alike

to measure

As nurses we are trained to create 

well defined 

measurable 

goals.

Since the original 2004 stroke, we've looked mostly at what Mom CAN do, since she was actually expected to be dead or vegatative.

She could:

walk

drive

live

love

be.

By her definition, she was now . . . stupid, 

unable to speak, unable to actively communicate, unable to think clearly, unable to get thoughts down on paper,  sometimes unable to remember, and had to re-read everything (repeatedly).

She likes murder mysteries, and was often frustrated that it would take at least one Renewal (total 6 weeks), to finish a book.

Lately, I thought she was getting faster, but then they were books I was picking out and bringing to her.

She went to the Library and checked out:

418 pages

She finished it Sunday.  It's due Saturday.  That's 2 weeks, over the holidays and NO renewals.

Good Golly,

that's measurable!

Eight years, we've worked at figuring out what she is trying to say.

1. "write down a subject so I know what I'm trying to figure out."
2. listening to cadence and sound alikes.
3. yes can mean no, etc.
4. knowing her well enough that we often need to translate to others.

In a noisy restaurant, yesterday, she had a ten minute back and forth conversation, covering numerous subjects, with a good friend . . . with neither of them asking for my assistance.

The next day, this friend called me up, having Just realized what had happened.  She wanted to know how long Mom had been back in speech therapy.  (NOT)

What's changed?

The drugs?

She's off (June 2012) the Metapropol and Verapamil for the first time since 2004.  

I added an oral B-12 supplement for neuro-connectivity.  (I was looking toward brain/muscle communication)

Walking and independence in her home were all the goals I was looking to.

It NEVER occurred to me, 

that such a CHANGE 

might happen.

How can one create a measurable GOAL

out of what had become 

an Impossible DREAM.

a holiday?

Christmas Redux

fresh from Maine

the lights

the tree

more lights

the Concerts

not bad for elementary school

3 generations checking out socks

flying paper

bird or beast

I have a bird feeder book 

at home

that identifies birds 

and what they 

prefer for food in their feeders.

Cardinals:  black sunflower seeds

Gold Finches:  nyjer seed

Blue Birds:  meal worms

and

Hawks:  small song birds

Sit in it, 
(in the middle of the Buffet),
and they will come?


Maybe if I hide behind the Ornamental Grass
they will come BACK!

The young'un seems to think
he's hit the
Snack Bar
Jackpot!

you advance twice

I brought Mom home, (July 16th), almost exactly 5 months ago, (154 days).

July- I found her she was 25 lbs under-weight, listless, uninterested in food, sleeping most of the time, and total care.  The therapies we started at home were done mostly in her bed.
August- She had her first appt. with her new Cardiologist, sits up in her wheelchair or recliner for therapy, I succeeded in getting her showered without injury to either of us, she's taking an interest in life, she sees her new Primary MD, and suddenly to the PT's surprise--she's walking laps around him with the walker.
September- We've gotten her off a lot of the blood pressure meds, she starts out-patient PT, OT is satisfied to not be needed, she goes to a Baby Shower--her first social event, PT had her up and down stairs and doing laps, she's reading books again, doing her bills, and finally an outing to see her Daughter-in-law in her latest play.
October- a (insane) road trip to Nebraska, a fall, a set-back, a refusal to leave the comfort zone of her wheelchair, my insistence that she use her walker and the bathroom, and she now plays solitaire again.
November- an end to PT, a (nearly as insane) road trip to New England, (there is no doubt now, my house is too small for a walker, much less a wheelchair), panics if  I am standing to far away when she gets up with the walker, I stand further and further away, we shocked my brother when we came to visit and I pushed up an empty wheel chair, (umm, where's Mom?  walking behind me.).
December- She is at weight with a possibility of gaining 7 more pounds--or not, Cardiology has cut her to every 6 month visits, she's organising her life--going through closets, drawers and cupboards while standing with her walker, I occasionally remind her to stand up straight (work on balance) and not lean on the walker, for the first time since the big stroke in 2004, she finished one of her murder mysteries before it was due with no renewals!

getting back to normal 

talk, child.

12/14/12

In grief

 for the children, teachers,

 parents, community,

 town, county, state, nation and the world.

To the Media,

"Need to Know"

and

 the act of 

Vultures

are

two very different 

thinks

(Thanks Kim for your very well written blog entry @ http://mamabythebay.com)

happy voices cry.

Ah, the secret little JOYs of Christmas.

The semi-detached condo development Mom and Dad bought into, is built in such a way, that your view in front, is limited to straight out the window.  (The mailboxes, which are just over and across the drive, cannot be seen from their condo.)  If your Christmas tree is going to be viewed by all from the drive, it can only be placed in the front den, if you have one.  Because of this, there are little Christmas Joys that can be enjoyed by the few.

From the little kitchen window we can see two neighbors trees, and we are the only ones that can enjoy them outside these homes.  (Sorta like Christmas Easter Eggs!)

the deck decorations can be seen by others, but the tree, is all ours! The multi colored streak at the top of their window is the reflection of our deck Christmas lights.

The house directly behind us, has a little corner of Christmas decorations in its backyard, that specifically faces our condo.  (When we go out, we love to see their front yard, which they do up nicely.)

If they had placed the lantern and banner on an angle, other condos could enjoy too, but they didn't. Maybe because of our deck lights and banner that face them?!  (do I even mention our spastic solar lights that think they are strobes.)

I decorated 3 small trees in the development for others to enjoy . . . they too cannot be seen from our home . . . but others can see them from theirs.

We can't see any of them

but our neighbor from across the drive

can see all of them from various windows in her condo.

Christmas Joy,

get it where you can.