bennington, vt.

Friday, December 21, 2012

bird or beast

I have a bird feeder book 
at home
that identifies birds 
and what they 
prefer for food in their feeders.

Cardinals:  black sunflower seeds
Gold Finches:  nyjer seed
Blue Birds:  meal worms


Hawks:  small song birds
Sit in it, 
(in the middle of the Buffet),
and they will come?

Maybe if I hide behind the Ornamental Grass
they will come BACK!

The young'un seems to think
he's hit the
Snack Bar

Monday, December 17, 2012

you advance twice

I brought Mom home, (July 16th), almost exactly 5 months ago, (154 days).

July- I found her she was 25 lbs under-weight, listless, uninterested in food, sleeping most of the time, and total care.  The therapies we started at home were done mostly in her bed.
August- She had her first appt. with her new Cardiologist, sits up in her wheelchair or recliner for therapy, I succeeded in getting her showered without injury to either of us, she's taking an interest in life, she sees her new Primary MD, and suddenly to the PT's surprise--she's walking laps around him with the walker.
September- We've gotten her off a lot of the blood pressure meds, she starts out-patient PT, OT is satisfied to not be needed, she goes to a Baby Shower--her first social event, PT had her up and down stairs and doing laps, she's reading books again, doing her bills, and finally an outing to see her Daughter-in-law in her latest play.
October- a (insane) road trip to Nebraska, a fall, a set-back, a refusal to leave the comfort zone of her wheelchair, my insistence that she use her walker and the bathroom, and she now plays solitaire again.
November- an end to PT, a (nearly as insane) road trip to New England, (there is no doubt now, my house is too small for a walker, much less a wheelchair), panics if  I am standing to far away when she gets up with the walker, I stand further and further away, we shocked my brother when we came to visit and I pushed up an empty wheel chair, (umm, where's Mom?  walking behind me.).
December- She is at weight with a possibility of gaining 7 more pounds--or not, Cardiology has cut her to every 6 month visits, she's organising her life--going through closets, drawers and cupboards while standing with her walker, I occasionally remind her to stand up straight (work on balance) and not lean on the walker, for the first time since the big stroke in 2004, she finished one of her murder mysteries before it was due with no renewals!
getting back to normal 

Saturday, December 15, 2012

talk, child.

In grief
 for the children, teachers,
 parents, community,
 town, county, state, nation and the world.

To the Media,
"Need to Know"
 the act of 
two very different 

(Thanks Kim for your very well written blog entry @

Friday, December 14, 2012

happy voices cry.

Ah, the secret little JOYs of Christmas.

The semi-detached condo development Mom and Dad bought into, is built in such a way, that your view in front, is limited to straight out the window.  (The mailboxes, which are just over and across the drive, cannot be seen from their condo.)  If your Christmas tree is going to be viewed by all from the drive, it can only be placed in the front den, if you have one.  Because of this, there are little Christmas Joys that can be enjoyed by the few.

From the little kitchen window we can see two neighbors trees, and we are the only ones that can enjoy them outside these homes.  (Sorta like Christmas Easter Eggs!)
the deck decorations can be seen by others, but the tree, is all ours! The multi colored streak at the top of their window is the reflection of our deck Christmas lights.
The house directly behind us, has a little corner of Christmas decorations in its backyard, that specifically faces our condo.  (When we go out, we love to see their front yard, which they do up nicely.)
If they had placed the lantern and banner on an angle, other condos could enjoy too, but they didn't. Maybe because of our deck lights and banner that face them?!  (do I even mention our spastic solar lights that think they are strobes.)
I decorated 3 small trees in the development for others to enjoy . . . they too cannot be seen from our home . . . but others can see them from theirs.
We can't see any of them

but our neighbor from across the drive

can see all of them from various windows in her condo.
Christmas Joy,
get it where you can.

Monday, December 10, 2012

half no time

I feel as though I have done nothing but run since we got back.

Mom is to the point, that she is NEVER where I left her anymore!  She still asks for help with some things, but as a rule, she goes about the house doing her own thing.  (this also entails her coming up with 15 things she wants me to do, now.  Priority means nothing.  Let me finish this first, means nothing.  It's a "Stroke thing" I know, but it is starting to make me nuts.  I suppose I should be pleased she is finally regaining mental/personality independence she hasn't had since the damage caused in 2004.)  For this I am happy, but her swinging moods are going to be the death of me.

We go to a School Christmas Concert, and as the wheelchair runs up over my foot on the down slope of an auditorium, I ask her, (gently), to please not release the brake on the chair when I'm trying ready her for a transfer to the auditorium seat.  She starts to whimper and cry that she is sorry.  (I think that crowds now put her into a panic.)

Christmas:  you ain't sent her a Christmas Card, no matter WHAT the circumstances, YOU ain't getten one!  Christmas tipping . . . ain't happening.  Don't even get me started on Gifting.

Two unfortunates here . . .

1.  with very good reason, I did not particularly care for the person she was before the stroke, and that person seems to be coming back.

2.  since I have no wages or allowance, her gifts to others, (or lack of), are inextricably linked to me.  (and WHAT and HOW do I buy for her?  A few years back I found a magazine that really appealed to her, but now I have transferred my subscription on to hers, so we don't get duplicates every month, therefore getting her the yearly subscription for Christmas this year is silly.)

I think I will join the elf, and swing from the ceiling fan.