bennington, vt.

Monday, December 10, 2012

half no time

I feel as though I have done nothing but run since we got back.

Mom is to the point, that she is NEVER where I left her anymore!  She still asks for help with some things, but as a rule, she goes about the house doing her own thing.  (this also entails her coming up with 15 things she wants me to do, now.  Priority means nothing.  Let me finish this first, means nothing.  It's a "Stroke thing" I know, but it is starting to make me nuts.  I suppose I should be pleased she is finally regaining mental/personality independence she hasn't had since the damage caused in 2004.)  For this I am happy, but her swinging moods are going to be the death of me.

We go to a School Christmas Concert, and as the wheelchair runs up over my foot on the down slope of an auditorium, I ask her, (gently), to please not release the brake on the chair when I'm trying ready her for a transfer to the auditorium seat.  She starts to whimper and cry that she is sorry.  (I think that crowds now put her into a panic.)

Christmas:  you ain't sent her a Christmas Card, no matter WHAT the circumstances, YOU ain't getten one!  Christmas tipping . . . ain't happening.  Don't even get me started on Gifting.

Two unfortunates here . . .

1.  with very good reason, I did not particularly care for the person she was before the stroke, and that person seems to be coming back.

2.  since I have no wages or allowance, her gifts to others, (or lack of), are inextricably linked to me.  (and WHAT and HOW do I buy for her?  A few years back I found a magazine that really appealed to her, but now I have transferred my subscription on to hers, so we don't get duplicates every month, therefore getting her the yearly subscription for Christmas this year is silly.)

I think I will join the elf, and swing from the ceiling fan.

1 comment:

Judy said...

Ugh. I am sooo sorry.
I hope you find some peace and rest, and soon. I'm worn out just THINKING about all you do.