an angry tone

Father is in a Rehab. Nursing Home. 
No diagnosis.
Day by day, Hour by hour,

his situation changes.

Energy, Mood, Attitude, and Cognition . . .

swing from

one extreme

to another.

Expected to go to work tonight . . .

got a call . . .

my Patient is back in the hospital.

(my three days off . . . what happened!)

Rats!

I want him better & I want him home,

where I get to take care of him.

poured a little

When did I leave Michigan

and move to Seattle??

a few years ago,

(after a heavy New England winter!),

we had a

Spring and Summer

where it Rained

like this . . .

Seattle had a drought

that year.

PS
patient is coming home
therefore I will be back to work.

Still many questions about the
cause of Dad's problems,
but may be going to Rehab soon.

murdering the time!

I.  Made it HOME and back.
   A.  way too short
        1.   full day driving there and a full day driving back.
        2.  two days to clean and air the house
        3.  two days to straighten the yard
             a.  re-cut two large beds (75X5ft and 40X12ft)
             b.  spread two Large pickup loads of mulch
             c.  pick up winter debris and remove broken fence
             d.  chop back the invasive vines & trim roses
             e.  clear and sweep walkways 
       4.  Not nearly enough time to even SEE friends.
(I love and miss you all terribly and it was sooo hard to not get to see you.)

II.  Dad had a good week while we were gone but . . .

     A.  Started stumbling the next day (Friday)

          1.  usually means infection

               a.  started antibiotic

     B.  Post 24 hr. more stable feeling better

          1.  Mom and I went to a Community theater musical

          2.  post intermission received this message:

I'm on the FLOOR resting.

           3.  raced back and power lifted 240 odd lbs to a chair

           4.  cleaned up ALL the broken glass

(don't ask)

           5.  found out he had been too embarrassed to call 911

A SECOND TIME

in one night!

REALLY!

    C.  Monday - many falls and itchiness later, went to MD          

          1.  Hoped to change antibiotic

          2.  Continue antibiotic and add Benadryl

               a.  is already less stable . . . do we really think THAT will help

               b.  I'm starting to wonder about this Doc.

(OK, not actually starting!)

    D.  Wednesday     911/ER

         1.  six falls since Saturday

         2.  itchiness unrelieved

         3.  wildly swinging blood sugars on an already historically brittle diabetic

         4.  6am woke up to someone screaming                       

              a.  Dad is "asleep", with C-pap on, in his chair . . .

then screaming

 and

I am unable to wake him up

     E.  Thursday  Med/Surg Floor 

          1.  urine, blood work, x-ray, and ct-scan 

          2.  responsive, "loopy" still, and sleepy during the six hours we visited

          3.  6pm Hospital MD met "linda blair"

               a.  I call it "psychotic dementia break"

               b.  I've been blamed for it . . .

"well, it's because it's you . . .

 he  wouldn't do it with somone else"

"you just push each other's buttons"

              4.  7pm I spoke with the MD

                 a.  prior to dementia . . .

has he ever had a psych diagnosis? - No

                 b.  FINALLY . . . 

I am not crazy and it is NOT me!

  

            5.  restrained and watched constantly

      F.  Friday

           1.  Alert, awake, pleasant

           2.  MD feels she has just met someone else 

III. My patient

     A.  First surgery done

           1.  infection - dehisced 

     B.  Second surgery

           1.  this time a medically induced coma

           2.  He looks good

           3.  I'm out at least 2 weeks 

                a.  1 week Home - 1 week dealing with Dad

for me,  just as well

my patient and his family . . .

not so much

hard at work

Ahhh yes, my other Job . . .

I really must set about writing up a Plan of Care for my Brother's benefit while we are gone.

Just to make his life easier.

He is coming over this week to observe,

but something written down as a reminder

would probably be helpful.

ought to pay

When I hired on with the Agency,

a point was made of the fact that

they gave performance based raises.

My Annual Review was Friday.

Silly perhaps, for me to think this, but I thought it would be automatic.  However, after an interview . . . went extremely well, and then skill evaluation in the clinical lab . . . I think I intimidated them a little . . .

I asked about a raise.

Good thing . . .

"Oh, you have to ask SO and So and then he has to speak to his Boss."

I did, He did . . .

and when he called me back later . . .

I had a $1 more per hour.

FYI:  this past year I made 1/3 of 

what I made the previous year at Home,

(where I had Sick time, Vacation time and Holidays).

His comment was, it was the second

or maybe the First raise

given to anyone

this year.

But, definitely the biggest.

I will just leave it at that.

Once again I must sincerely THANK the anonymous co-workers
who donated to me their Vacation time,

so I could survive while waiting for Michigan to recognise my

Nursing License last year.

Thank you,
a thousand times Thank you

riper years

Mom took the "Hot Cross Buns" out of the freezer . . .

again.

Every year since 2007 they come out of the freezer,

a couple get eaten,

and then they go back.

Thank Goodness I can't eat the darn things

and

Father won't.

 . . . and then I started thinking about all the things that have happened since Easter 2007.

Trips, tragedies, friends and family who have gone on ahead, moves, changes, jobs, health . . .

WOW!

What do you remember?

pool of tears

The screaming, yelling, cursing . . .
The denying my parentage . . .
The denying that I have any intelligence . . .
The denying of my humanity . . .

(demon and devil were mentioned)

We try to let it go, and blame the Dementia . . .

but this time it was one step beyond

and I lost myself to tears.

I sobbed as I bathed him,

and he realized he'd gone too far . . . 

he tried to explain himself and apologize . . .

This is NOT dementia.

Now, when you go to a Doctor,

they ask if anyone is abusing you at home.

"Hmmm, my 87 year old Father kicks, hits, and scratches me . . . we won't even mention the verbal abuse."

Yeah, right.

I question my sanity.



PS

the topper yesterday, was . . .

once again someone, (one of their friends),

asked why I didn't sell my home . . .

and just move here.

Easter sun

Easter is late this year.
In fact, for once, it is actually after
Patriot's Day this year . . .

Oh, sorry, for those non-New Englanders . . .
it is after . . . the Boston Marathon!

Well,here in Michigan, THANK GOODNESS,
it's later this year . . .

and it's still snowing

Just think if it had been earlier!

PS
and one gratuitous bunny picture

into the fire

My Brother,

(Hmmmm,

actually it started back when 

he was dating

my beloved Sister-in-law),

has a problem with FIRE.

His first parsonage, on an early Sunday morning . . .

(super heated walls from an over-worked furnace

during one of the coldest Michigan winters on record),

a great smoking pit in the ground

(saved all 7 cats though . . . hooray),

and the reading for the day was:

The pivots on the thresholds shook at the voices of those who called, and the house filled with smoke. Isaiah 6:4 etc.

He, of course, being a good leader, 

offered sensory input . . .

with the smell of smoke and singed hair.

His next burnt offering was his car,

(spontaneous combustion),

on the Schuylkill,
on the way to a synod conference . . .

backed up traffic for miles . . .

many people were late for that conference.

And since then,

many personal computers

in his household,

have self immolated.

As he and his wife were bemoaning

the latest computer suicide,

I pointed out his long history with

fire . . .

He quipped:

At least I'm getting cheaper.

 No comment.

water to throw

We've had, as a family, many

Water Crossings.

A water heater rupture . . . 

     -in a basement filled with cardboard boxes filled with my roomie's teaching supplies.

    

A major hurricaine and devastating flood . . .

     -right after my Brother's family moved to Louisiana and just dedicated the new church building the weekend before.

A severe ice storm . . . 

     -that took down forests of trees and knocked out power for 2 weeks during a sub-zero winter in New England. 

A ruptured water pipe . . .

     -in the second floor bathroom of an unoccupied home.

I, (who have slept through chainsaws), awoke- running down the basement stairs and shut off the water.

     -5 boxes were lost, (contents saved) out of 100+, (and I gave up having an indoor pool).

Family escaped to high ground.

     -minimal damage to house and church . . . all things considered.

We had cut down many scary trees, in my yard, the summer before and I was able to keep the house sort of warm with the kitchen gas stove.

     -my neighbors stayed very warm else where, but at home, all their water pipes froze and ruptured down 3 levels.  It took them a year of rebuilding.

Only 20 min. of water pouring out, because someone happened to be there.

     -carpets, walls, ceiling, wood flooring, etc., BUT, only in one 2 level section of the house.

. . . Yeah, it stinks.

But like the Israelites arriving at the Red Sea with the Egyptian Army hot on their tails . . .

"Damn, that's alot of water!"

. . . and then you see the other side.